Local F****** Warning Tour: The Recap

by on Oct.06, 2018, under Wrestling

WWE Local Warning Tour

Back in 2002 we were lucky enough to attend the WWE’s first ever stadium show in Australia, The WWE Global Warning Tour at the then named Colonial Stadium. We dubbed it “Local F****** Warning” because it was the night after our Melbourne High School Year 12 social. Ahead of the #WWESSD tonight at the MCG, I’ve dug up the original recap and pictures from the ‘Whoisthefezz’ recap back in 2002 with some… George Lucas style edits. Here’s how a 17 year old Nims enjoyed the WWE live for the first time ever!


LOCAL ****ING WARNING: Went and rented out WWF Royal Rumble 2000 and was watching that until I was joined by MASONOWNS A DIGICAM. I can tell you now the HHH vs. CACTUS JACK
street fight was ****ing sickening and brutal to watch. A definite 10/10 match for me. Interesting to see HHH back in 1999 before he became HHHuge.
Great PPV In my opinion. Afterwards we were joined by KEEFER IN HIS STING TSHIRT and watched WM2000. I’m sorry but I’m not a fan of WM2000 purely cause it doesnt feel like a WrestleMania. So we ended up watching WrestleMania X-SEVEN (the best PPV I’ve seen in my opinion) and then us four left (oh yeah GERARD WANTS TO BE SINGLE joined us to watch WMX7) for Global Warning where we met up with SIMMO.
As a side note I was finally able to prove that I don’t exaggerate when i say the relos are always over as Gerome and Co. got to meet my cousin I’M THE NICE ONE, RAE AZOOR. Yes… It was all good.

After spending a good $140 BEFORE entering Colonial Stadium we made our way to our seats. PETER
FROM BIG BROTHER II
played WWF RAW on XBOX with some stupid little kid on the big screens. Twas cool to sing along with Kurt Angle’s theme music in his RAW entrance. God bless Angle!

LIGHTS DIM! Huge Pop. MORE LIGHTS DIM! Huger Pop. YOU THINK YOU KNOW NICK, THROUGH
HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE ITS BUNN
and HOLLYWOOD HARRIS join us. More lights Dim… huge pop… a ****ing Pole is in our way may I add… oh well coo coo ca choo watcha gonna do? A bunch of WWE Desire Videos and stuff shown.

GLOBAL WARNING STARTS: Pyro!! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! PYRO! MORE PYRO!! IT’S GLOBAL WARNING PEOPLE!! YAAAY! STEPHANIE (w/ Stephanie McMahon) comes out and says something. I’d write what she wrote but I’m not CRZ I just write like him. Something how it’s good to be in Mell Born. Then BA-ROCK LESS NAR comes out with PAUL HEY MAN and craps on how he’s the reason for
HULK HOGAN not being here. And he was ****ing huge as well! And we’re onto our first match!

RIKISHI vs. ROB MET RICO Kiss My Ass Match
Rikishi wins. Brings out from the audience SOME KID and SOME OTHER KID IN A YELLOW TOP. Rikishi then busts a move. Match was okay to warm us up. 5/10

D-VON/BATISTA vs MIZARK HENRY/OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR, RANDY ORTONTag
Match

This match didn’t particularly interest me. I miss DVon’s old organ music. Although me and Gerome got
our moneys worth. RANDY ORTON!! RANDY ORTON!! Some good moves were done.
Orton cant do no wrong. Batista is huge as well. The rest suck. RANDY ORTON
WINS!! Oh yeah and so did Mizark. BUT IT’S ALL ABOUT RANDY!! 6/10

JAMIE ‘GET THE K OUT’ NOBLE (w/ Nidia) vs THE HURRICANE WWE Crusierweight Title Match
I liked this match. The Hurricane is awesome and so is Noble. Noble Won BY CHEATING!! Cool little
beatdown by Hurricane after the match as well. 8/10

THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO (w/ Rob Met Rico) vs HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?/CHAVO
GUERRERO (w/ I’m Maven. I’m From Tough Enough!) 
Tough Enough Challenge Match

Billy and Chuck acted really stereotypically gay in this match. I mean like REALLY GAY. But hey it’s their gimmick. [2018 Edit: Ridiculous what was around in that era of wrestling!] Was really cool to see Maven. I dunno why I cant get enough Maven. He rules in my opinion. 6/10

TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST vs. YOUR OLYMPIC HERO, KURT ANGLE IS GOD!RAW vs SmackDown! Match
Test insults Mel Born. Then in the mark out moment of the night which had me standing on my seat cheering like a little kid YOUR OLYMPIC HERO, KURT ANGLE came out with his PYRO!! BLAM!
BLAM! BLAM!
Walked down that ramp and told Test to shut up. Kurt ****ing rules! KURT! KURT! KURT! But yeah that entrance got a huge ****ing pop. Terrific! Angle won with the Angle Slam. 9/10. And I dont care if they blew a spot. I watched to enjoy not to see any blown spots. Marks have it so much better
than smarks. ANNNG-GLE! AAANNNNG-GLE!!

TOILET BREAK: Me and UNDISPUTED GERARD watched the bags while everyone bought food and stuff. On a side not I had to visit three Mens before I could use it. I’m sorry but I aint standing shoulder to shoulder at a urinal. Seriously the only way you could take a piss was for one person to move
out and you jump into his slot. Still it was all good. Check the pictures section for the lamest burger ever
made. Seriously for the prices at Colonial I expect the best ****ing meal I’ve ever eaten thanks. MANBOY then comes out to tell us this is a Colonial Stadium record for attendance.
Awww… they should’ve got TAZZZZZZZZZ.

CHRISTYAAAAAAAAAAAN/LANCE STORM HAS WEIRD MUSIC vs. BILLY ‘LOOK AT MY PENIS!!!’ KIDMAN/RAYMOND STEREOWWE Tag Team Title Match
A great match here cause all four men are dynamite! And Kidman wasnt wearing his ‘LOOK AT MY PENIS!!!’ trunks as well so thats an added bonus! Lotsa moves here like the Shooting Star Press and Rey Mysterio’s 619. Great match. UnAmericans won. And Lance’s music is really weird!! 10/10

Y2J2 vs. THE EDGE (w/ a lovely Sony HandyCam)RAW vs SmackDown! Match
Jericho bags us all which leads everybody to chant “You are a wanker!” at him to which he replies
“I dont even know what a wanker is!”. A good match beetween these two. Edge is massively over now which is good to see he didnt Billy Gunn his KOTR victory. Really hot match and Edge won. This then lead to Jericho chucking a huge tanty (like back in his 1998 WCW days) and ripping a crowd sign and throwing a chair into the ring. Edge sits on chair and mocks him then climbs a pole to say hi to everyone. HI EDGE! 9.5/10

STACY “LOOK A TRAMPOLINE!!” KIEBLER vs TORRIE WILSON (w/ Special Guest Ring Anouncer The Biiiiiiiig Valbowski) Bra And Panties Match
Nice to see the ladies. There was a couple of actual wrestling moves in there as well… funny
that. NIDIA then runs in and gets depantsed. Then runs back. WHAT AN IMPACT! Then Torrie
gets the win and goes into the back – 5/10

BA-ROCK LESS NERR (w/ Paul Hey Man) vs. HHH vs THE ROCK NEEDS TO PISS – No DQ Undisputed Title Match
Ba-Rock enters first. LESNAR SHUFFLE!! On a side note Lesnar is ****ing huge. Wow. Not quite HHHuge but still huge. Gets into the ring. LESNAR SHUFFLE!! TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! Huge pop. TIME TO PLAAYYYY THE GAAAMMMME!! OOH HOO ERRR! More big pops… It’s HHH out. And is he HHHuge! Must be cause it’s all about the game. And how you play it. All about control and you can take it. All about your debt and if you can pay it. It’s all about the pain… and who’s gonna make it. I AM THE GAME! Etc. **** he takes his time to the ring. Still he is the game. He better look over his shoulder and get ready to run something something something like a smoking gun. I am the game and I play the rules… here it is…. and rinse… and spit for me Hunter. Thats a good boy. **** he takes his time. IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! ****ING HUGE POP! WHAT THE ROCK! IS COOKIN!! It’s the Rock! The MOTHER****INGROCK! HOLY SHIT! IT’S THE PEOPLES CHAMP! THE BRAHMA BULL! **** ITS THE ROCK!! 56,000 Australians are on their feet for the peoples champion! Good gawd almighty! Never in my 25 years of wrestling have I seen an ovation as big as this!! Good gawd almighty. Rock and HHH double team Ba-Rock. HHH turns on Rock. That aint nice. Cant remember what happened but the general deal was a lot of pages were attempted to be reloaded and as GERARD WANTS TO BE SINGLE so classily put it “YOU CANT F5 THE ROCK!” but we were wrong. Brock hits the Browser Refresh on The Rock… HHH delives the Pedigree on Brock then gets a Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! Rocky wins by pinning HHH. And the crowd goes mad. HHH’s hair looked ****ing weird during this match. All puffy and shit. Like mine kinda. Obviously he isn’t using the KEVIN NASH golden locks treatment. Leaves your hair smooth and silky apparently. – 9/10

THE AFTERSMACK: THE ROCK NEEDS TO PISS & HHH spent a good 5 mins offering HEY MAN a chance to shake each of their hands. Paul aint that dumb he know’s if he does he’s going to get a People’s Elbow. But the Rock wouldn’t do that. So he shakes Rocky’s hand. Wait a minute HHH shakes his hand and Pedigree’s him. People’s Elbow on Heyman. Then HHH does the elbow. Hey Man leaves. HHH leaves. Rocky gets the mic and does the “FINALLY. THE ROCK HAS COME BACK! TO MELLLLL BOURN!!!” Show over. Goodnight.

Pictures:

The Ring… The Glorious Ring!!

The entrance ramp.

That Pole… that goddam pole…
Ahh well cant complain!

SECURITY PEOPLE! THE CRACK SECURITY
SQUAD!

Me and Gerome with Simmo in the
background. What I’m wearing all up cost $140.

PYRO! PYRO! BANG! BANG! BANG! GLOBAL
WARNING TOUR IS ON!!

The smoke after the pyro… or is
it Bunn’s entrance?

It’s him! The Next Big Thing!! It’s
Ba-Rock Less Nerr (w/ Paul Hey Man)

LOOK! A RAMP! Maybe someones gonna
come out to face Test Test This Is A Test??

MARK OUT LIKE A MOTHER****ER!! IT’S
Your Olympic Hero And Mine Kurt Angle!! I was on my chair screaming
like a girl when he came out!!

…with his PYRO! PYRO!! MOTHER****ING
PYRO!! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Intermission… me and Lunchbox
look after everybodies stuff…

$4.50 will buy you a Chicken Nugget
in a bun. SMELL THE VALUE!!

It’s Y2J2!! Break The Walls
DOWWWWWNNN!!

It’s EDGE!! YOU THINK YOU
KNOW HIM!

THE ROCK! The Peoples Champ…
Full Of Water As Well I Bet…

The N-N-Nims World Order… a top
night out!!

© 2002 Whoisthefezz Entertainment
Inc. All Rights Reserved. RAW Power, People!


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